I had a phone call at 9am from Miss 5. She wanted me to go and see their new ENORMOUS TV. I put her off till later but one hour later I got a Video call from her so I gave up on my sleepin and headed up. It IS enormous.
Today was heavy flooding in Sydney. It looked like it would here but it passed over us.
I am on a new antibiotic. The ulcer on my leg is not going away.
It rained tonight. Heavily with thunder and lightning. We’ve not had much of that for months.
I saw the Doctor in the morning. Most of my blood tests are very good. A slight rise in one of the Liver readings and the rest better than usual.
I have a container to take a urine sample in tomorrow to see what the lower abdomen pain is.
Could be just a 24 hour wog. Miss 8 was home from school with vomiting and Dorbie had been vomiting all day yesterday.I was able to mind the Girls while Kaybee checked on her.
It is Azalea season here. Many years ago we had an Azalea Festival. We don’t now but we still have azaleas.
And we have the Bower Birds. The Regent was back and I have not ever seen them as daring.
At the Kids’ Place, we enjoyed ourselves. And then I looked at the beautiful garden that my Girl is growing.
Miss 8 played the piano for me. No lessons. She just loves it.
And then when night came, the rain came.
I know my writing each day seems shallow but it is the container in which I dwell. The Everyday Living holds my collapsed being into some sort of form.
My Facetime with Eden. My son pleased with his new phone . I sent him my Samsung.
Each routine which is developing and holding fast feels like cardiac resuscitation. My blood begins to flow. My heart begins to beat and now is developing a rhythm. It begins to beat regularly.
I need that because like so many people with disaster in their lives, I am not alright. Not at all. I know that my loved ones simply want me to be OK. So I act as if. But I am not OK. I might never be okay again. In normal terms.
I am sitting here and I am happy enough. I love my new computer. I enjoy my routines. But I am truly truly strange within .
The rain came today. Not heavy wild rain. Soft smooching rain. Really nice in a drought year. Not drought here but it has been very dry and dusty. And the rain came today and I stayed in as I do. I am no longer even interested in working out why I stay home. I enjoyed the day.
The birds came. 2 male bower birds. One Satin and one Regent. They squabbled a good bit. I did the things that no longer come natural to me. A hot shower. The washing on. Odds and ends like that. Someone posted a meme the other day. might nick it and post it here because it nails it all for me.
But today almost felt like a time long gone. Most days I am driven by some merciless whipster. It doesn’t look like it but I am. Most days I do not rest internally. Today I did.